Mom and I pulled up to the drop off curve at the airport, “Okay this is it Mom” *Hugs* “Yeah, be good son, I love you” “I love you, too”. As I stepped out of the car I took a deep breath of a new beginning. Mom pops up the trunk; I grab my enormously, heavy, filled duffle bag and crouched it over my shoulder. As I watched my mom drive away, I hear the roaring, but graceful sounds of the airplanes. Wow, this is really it.
I see my friend Shain from afar, walking towards the door, “Hey Shain! Wait up!” I trotted my way to him with a face that looked unsure. Heavily breathing “Is anyone here yet?” stuffing his face with li hing mui watermelon candy, he goes, “Nope”. Before I walk through those doors, I felt a buzz – it was my phone. I dropped my duffle bag creating this big thud, on my knees I unzipped my small pocket and looked at my phone. It said “MOM calling”. I answered, “Hello?” “Hey, you left your small bag with your video recorder in it?” “You still want it?” An enormous plastic bag went over my head, God I wanna choke myself! “So what, you still want it?” I immediately answered, “Yeah I’ll meet you at the same spot.” I was so mad at myself, how could you be so forgetful, how could you be so irresponsible!, those thoughts racing through my head as I walked towards the drop off curve, waiting to hear another lecture about being prepared and yada yada yada.
There she was. I ran to the car, she rolled down the window… Here it comes, my heart pounded so hard, I felt the pulse in my head – “Here, you’ll be fine son”. Wait, what?! - Speechless. I expected her to just bust out with the lecture, but, no? “Stop worrying, okay?” “I gotta go pick up your sister now” I answered confusingly, “Okay by mom, love you” “Love you too” As I walked back on to the curve, I was still in that wow moment. She actually trusts me on this trip? She sounded like she wasn’t even worried. I was the one who was pissing in my pants, ME, not her!
That day, I had a confidence that I have never experienced before. I had no worries, no unsure thoughts – all gone. Trust was something I’ve always wanted from my mom, and I got it. I knew at the time I was irresponsible and naïve but, from such a small mistake, a miracle bloomed. I am coming of age.
I picked up my duffle bag and walked over to Shain, “Is everything alright?” With a smile on my face, “Yeah, everything’s gonna be alright”.
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i really liked how everything came together nd jsut flows. you have a really good voice and this shows your personality.
ReplyDeletegood job!
Charina
Great job micah. Your voice in this writing really captured my attention. It created images in my mind like when you said "I was the one who was pissing in my pants, ME, not her". I really pictured piss dripping down your leg. Overall great job.
ReplyDeleteHi Micah,
ReplyDeleteFirst my comments to your teammates--Charina and Paddle. Guys, you need to be more specific in your commentary. General comments about the writing flowing will not help. The citation of the "p in p" quote was specific but you could cite more from the essay than just that quote.
Then, here are my comments on your essay: You share a humorous look at the beginning of trust from your mother. Because it seems like such a minor thing--she brings you something you forgot and doesn't scold you about it--you need to put it in context to show why is was so significant to you. In the past did your mom remind you about everything and scold you if you forgot? Or was there some other reason or element of your relationship that made this incident significant?
You need to "set up" the essay to show why this was so important to you, why this really marked your transition into adulthood.
mrs s